Ah! Marriage, it was perfect until you had a baby. Don’t get me wrong, your baby is a symbol of your love for one another. But let’s face it, taking care of a baby can really put an overwhelming amount of stress to you and your spouse. What used to be a very happy marriage feels like it has turned into an everyday chore.
The problem is, when you put your marriage on the sidelines and just focus on caring for the baby, you’ll fail to notice a growing problem in your relationship. The more you set it aside, the harder it will be to get back on the horse’s saddle. So, before things take a turn for the worse, here are some tips to keep your marriage alive and healthy even after having a baby:
1. Make time for each other.
When there’s a newborn baby in the house, naturally, all your time and efforts are concentrated on taking care of the little one and that means losing time for one another. When that happens, you spend less quality time with your spouse that results in less bonding moments. Thus, make sure you make time for one another. That conscious effort from the both of you will allow to stay connected with one another.
2. Don’t forget the small things.
Remember when you used to make your spouse coffee? Continue doing that. Small things matter and when you both make the effort to consciously do small things for one another, that’s a good reminder that you still care for one another.
3. Show appreciation.
Remember, you are in this together and there should be a never-ending show of support and appreciation to one another. That said, instead of focusing on how much you’ve done compared to your spouse, focus on the good things your spouse has done and show your appreciation for that. It is an incredibly wonderful and encouraging feeling when you feel appreciated.
4. Say something positive.
It may feel like the world is crashing down in front of you and you can no longer handle the stress. But let me tell you this, one positive word from your spouse and you’ll feel like you are reenergized to take on another stressful day. Always say something positive to your spouse, this will make them feel loved, cared for and appreciated. I’m sure you want to hear the nice words too.
5. Smile and laugh together.
It’s easy to put on a sad face or one that shouts “I’m miserable right now” with all the stress you’re feeling, which is why you need to release that. Have a good laugh with your spouse. Watch a funny movie or TV show. Play games. Do whatever you can that will make you realize that having a baby is not the end of the world, you can still enjoy your life!
6. Be intimate.
Oh yes, the sex. Married couples who welcome a newborn in the house tend to forget that sex should still be part of marriage. When you feel exhausted and you think about all the things you need to get done every day, sex becomes a rare commodity (but it shouldn’t be). As I’ve said earlier, make time for one another and that means make time for intimate moments.
7. Focus on teamwork.
As they say, there is no “I” in team and yes, you are definitely not alone in this. That said, help each other out. You had the baby together; you should care for your little one together too. Helping each other shows that you support one another and respect one another enough. Be a team!
8. Compliment each other.
You know what, when you’re all stressed out and tired, it’s easy to focus on the bad things. Thus, your mouth is filled with criticisms. However, this is very unhealthy for any relationship. Rather than focusing on the bad, put your focus on the good things. Compliment your spouse and compliment yourself for doing a job well done so far. Both of you deserve a pat in the back and maybe, a kiss too!
9. Take a day off.
We all need that day where we can just relax and not think about anything. Well, okay, taking a whole day off maybe too much. But what I’m saying is that let each other take some hours off from taking care of the baby. Use these hours to sleep, shop or do whatever you want; just as long as you feel that life isn’t just about caring for the little one, it’s also about you enjoying it!
10. Treat yourselves.
Treat yourselves every now and then. Go out. Dine out. Do whatever it is that you used to enjoy. If you need to ask help from friends or relatives to care for your baby for a few hours, do so. There’s no shame in that. Remember that first, you are a couple before the baby came and that shouldn’t change just because your bundle of joy is here.
You’d always hear people say that marriage takes daily work, but taking care of a baby is daily work too. However, you shouldn’t feel like you’re forced to choose one over the other. To be honest, all you need to do is find that balance and you can enjoy the best of both worlds. Enjoy being happily married with a lovely child to care for. Now isn’t that the life?
What advice do you have for parents to a newborn? Let us know in the comments below!
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Originally posted on January 30, 2016 @ 12:00 PM